Elephant Rentals and why I *hate* bollywood!!!!

Dear Lazyweb,

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS *SO* NOT MY IDEA!!!!

Today, Ms. Robbin Wilber (potentially my future mom-in-law) demanded that I find out about the cost of renting a trained Indian Elephant for the purpose of wedding that is likely to be held in Kolkata sometime next year (2009), with everything else remaining equal.

The aforementioned elephant should be trained to carry both the groom and the bride to the wedding reception, should not smell too bad and the elephant agency should preferably accept American credit cards. Those were her stipulations. If any one has an idea about elephant rentals, please drop a line of comment.

Apparently its the Bollywood movies that has done this harm. Arghhhhh!!!! I’m wordering if I can get out of this one by saying that we have a Pre-nuptial Agreement which stipulates “NO ELEPHANTS” ;-)

Thanks
-IDG

PS. I do not know what it is about Americans and Indian elephants… if someone does please leave a comment to enlighten me.

18 Responses to “Elephant Rentals and why I *hate* bollywood!!!!”

  1. Elephant Rentals and why I *hate* bollyw … Says:

    […] http://indradg.randomink.org/blog/archives/108 asks Hoosgot, […]

  2. Abhisek Says:

    uh oh.. don’t you think there might be a HUGE traffic jam in case you bring out an elephant on the streets of Kolkata? Not to mention the streets will be more shitty…

  3. runa Says:

    If elephants are not available, then how about:

    1. bullock cart (gorur gadi)
    2. palenquin (paalki - ektu khujte hobe)
    3. horse drawn carriage (tanga - victoria’r asse paase aramse paoa jaabe)
    4. horse (go to the punjabi biradree house, they will surely know)
    5. I believe some people also ride buffaloes
    6. if its winter, you might still look for the elephant at the circus. Though not sure if they allow animals in there any more.

    I simply can’t recall seeing an elephant on the streets of Kolkata - ever.

    In anycase, for all the above, you will probably (i am guessing here) need to take a permit out from the traffic police, the municipality/corporation, wildlife department, city police. then they might also need you to clean up after the parade.

    Either all that, or just get a car with flowers etc.

  4. Kartik Mistry Says:

    /me sends mail to PETA.

    Ask them that it will harm to poor elephant.. ;)

  5. Aanjhan Says:

    Easiest way to escape is Inform Priyanka Gandhi :D

  6. Kushal Das Says:

    I am loving it :D

  7. Sankarshan Says:

    Hmm… The Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Elephants and their ilk would soon descend upon your mother-in-law-to-be not to mention the card services folks for suggesting that they extend their services to rent-an-elephant shops as well.

  8. Subhodip Says:

    aah ..in order to rent a elephant we need road permit otherwise it will be a traffic issue that may cause police to involved , i dont htink your mother in law should get involved with breaking the traffic rules + toll tax is same a truck ..ready to pay

    and over all menaka gandhi may show some protest …

    *sigh *

    /me goes back to code

  9. Subhodip Says:

    @runa

    Agrees ..get a nice car and beutiful flowers that smells good .. else elephant for the trouble to sense of smell .

  10. RVK Says:

    Idea ta mondo noy…

    you could always contact the Kolkata Zoo and see if they rent out elephants. You can convince them by saying that a couple of hours of work would fetch them much needed income.

    By the way… please ask your mom-in-law if she would prefer to have Asain or the African variety (of the elephant that is) for the wedding… Dehk lo bhaya… baad mein panga na ho jaye…

    It reminds me of an advertisement long time back… “gau ha gau”… or shall we say “hathi hai hathi…”

    Chal chal chal mere hathi…
    O mere Saathi…
    Chal yaar dhakka mar….
    band hai motor car…
    Biwi ka hai intezar….
    Chal yaar…. Dhakka mar…

  11. RVK Says:

    On a serious note… you could contact some people in the film industry… they may help you to solve the problem

  12. runa Says:

    btw.. forgot to ask. Why an elephant of all things?

  13. Kushal Das Says:

    @runa
    I think http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0361411/ is main culprit :p

  14. Soumya Says:

    Simply It is really something which needed a blog rollout. Tomar mother in law besh saukhin , Thank GOD Elephant is the biggest Mammal who can be in Land, She didn’t demand for a whale on rent, I think thats your good luck …. :)

  15. Stephanie Says:

    let it all be known…I am *against* the elephants…and refuse to ride one…*sigh* mothers…please no elephants!!!!

  16. Stephanie Says:

    @Indra

    and besides…they’re like foreign here…nobody can touch them….ride them…maybe it’s the forbidden fruit they want to ride? I dunno…I honestly have to clue

  17. RVK Says:

    Hey Guys and Girls:

    I propose that we all seriously think of setting up a “Rent-an-Elephant” fund for Indra. After all, it is not always that mon-in-laws want to ride an elephant. Those of you who are married can definitely think of all the things that have to be done to please potential and real mon-in-laws. And the choice of elephant is certainly a better choice than those things.

    After all, does not our Kama Sutra say that the woman with the gait of an Elephant (Gaja-Gamini) is the most sensous of the women? And does not the Hindu God Indra (eh… never noiced the similarity) rides an Elephant? Elephants are our oldest friends. Porus confrontex Alexander on the banks of Jhelum with a regiment of Elephants? And, nary has there been an Indian King who did not have elephants in his stable. So what is wrong in asking for an elephant for the wedding?

    After all the choice of an Elephant shows that mom-in-law is open to the idea of a big fat Indian wedding. I for one certainly like the idea of renting elephant for Indra’s wedding. It is class!

    So let us think seriously about the matter. If we aim high about the matter we maybe able to really rent an elephant… if not … probably we will have to settle for a piece of “ass”… er…. donkey i mean :-)

    Sigh!!!

    Rohit

  18. stephanie Says:

    @ Rohit ugh how can you even side with my mom? i thought you were on our side. * sigh * elephants are pure torture to ride i promise. i don’t plan on riding any sort of animals for the wedding. i will arrive on my own 2 feet or some other way.